5 Great Recommendations to Reduce Stress

Make you opinions known.  Then remember whose college experience it is.

Yes you have more life experience.  Yes you think you know what is best for your child.  Yes, you are probably paying for it.  You have a right – indeed an obligation -- to share all this with your child.  And once you do, it is important to trust your son or daughter – to act maturely and make reasonable decisions about their own future.

They will make decisions you don’t like or agree with.  That is part of growing up.  And it is your obligation to let go.

The college admissions process is stressful.  Try your best not to make more stressful than necessary.

Designate a “Cone of Silence”

College admissions can be all-consuming.  It takes a lot of time, effort, money, and focus.  You will want to know what your child is thinking about; how they reacted to various campus visits; whether they have completed the myriad pieces of the process.  You’ll want to know where their friends are applying.

It is exhausting.  For all of you.

One of the simplest ways to stay sane and reduce stress is to designate one place where college admissions can’t be discussed.  Some families choose the car; others designate a particular room in the house, or the dining table.  Choose one place and stick to the rule.  Trust us; you’ll all appreciate the cone of silence.

Talk Candidly About Finances

College is typically the second largest investment a family ever makes.  (Note that we said “investment” and not expense.) 

A candid discussion about the family’s ability to pay for college is important.  For some families, money is not really an issue.  For most it is an important factor, and  there is at least some need for financial aid. 

Part of the discussion should focus on the issue of taking on college loans and incurring debt.  Different families have different philosophies and comfort levels about incurring debt.  And there are loans available for both students and parents. 

It is very helpful to have the finance conversation before certain colleges are considered and campus visits arranged.  That way, if you’ve talked about what you can afford and your willingness to take on loans, certain colleges can be ruled in or ruled out early on – simply on the basis of price.

Start Early!!!!!

Nothing can make the process a bit easier than starting earlier.  In our recent survey of graduating seniors it was the single most-often-repeated piece of advice they had for friends.

When is early? Yesterday.  Which means get started now.

Take an SAT prep course early in junior year.

Visit colleges starting in the junior year and have all the visits finished by the end of the summer before senior year.

Write practice essays as soon as senior year starts and college counselors can review them.

Ask teachers who will be writing recommendations to do it over the summer before senior year.

Getting the process started – and finished – early will not only make the experience less stressful, it will actually improve your chances of admission.

Stay Organized

Once you take the SAT’s (and even the PSAT’s) you will start receiving information and brochures from colleges.  Once you start visiting colleges you will begin collecting even more information, view-books, catalogues, and impressions.  And once you begin filling out the applications, you will see that each school has slightly different forms, essays, recommendation forms, etc.

Figure out a system for keeping it all organized that works for you.  And then make sure you keep it up-to-date.

Don’t miss deadlines!